Teacher says every time a bell rings, daddy throws away my future

You must read Kyle Smith's brilliant retelling of It's A Wonderful Life in Today's New York Post. Some highlights:

Jimmy Stewart's George Bailey accurately calls Bedford Falls “this crummy little town" and spends the movie trying to get away. He nearly kills himself because even suicide looks pretty good compared to upstate New York.

In the Pottersville scene, the movie stacks the decks by putting a cemetery in the place of the Bailey Park development. Sorry, George, but without you, people still would have died in Bedford Falls - of boredom.

Mary winds up in a place worse than the cemetery - “she's just about to close up the library!" - where she wears glasses and dresses like Paula Poundstone. It's an insult to working women.

Do yourself a favor and just go read the whole hilarious thing.