Photo tips for mediocre photographers like me

OK, you're like me: you've got a ~$300 camera (I've got a Canon that I would recommend to anybody) and you want to take good pictures. You find yourself in Seaworld (probably the best park in Orlando, but more on that later) and you want to take a picture of your lovely wife in front of a twelve-foot manatee. Click.

It looks like she's standing in front of a mackerel.
You move on to the Hospitality Center and Clydesdale Corral. There's a chain blocking you off from the Clydesdale. Click.

The mighty steed looks like a squirrel. This time you refuse to leave well enough alone. How can you, a camera illiterate like me, make something in the background look big?
Back it up and zoom in. Click.

Keep backing up and zooming. Click.

If only I had known this back at the Manatee Preserve.