Sunday, April 15, 2007

Seoul Auto Show

I had the pleasure of going to the 2007 Seoul Auto show at the Kintex convention center yesterday. I got a chance to see a bunch of new cars, a lot of talk about hydrogen and hybrids, and the car that everybody's talking about, the 2008 Kyron!

My trip to Kintex began with a shuttlebus trip that included toilet paper dispensers scattered throughout the bus. Not much to add, really.

I knew there would be Racing Girls there, and frankly the whole concept of RGs offends me to the core and makes me uncomfortable, so I went about doing the progressive, non-sexist thing and took lots of pictures of men objectifying Racing Girls. Also, although they all had great bodies (if you've been to prison and consider a perfect woman to have the slim hips of a high school boy) I was highly disappointed at their faces. This was definitely not the A squad of RGs.

The next generation of Mondellos will have this to deal with.

This was the first of many hybrid and hydrogen powered cars we saw. For some reason car companies feel the obligation to show you their newfangled engines, even though they provide no information about what such an engine actually consists of.

Like one-third of the people at the auto show, my sister-in-law (see her get married here) was taking pictures with her camera-phone.

God, look at all these guys objectifying women, it's sick! A curvy, wonton-looking sickness. I am the world's biggest hypocrite.

No, wait, now I am the world's biggest hypocrite.

The funny thing is that all the while I am doing my best to somehow communicate to the model that I'm only interested in the car. Because I am different.

Hmm, Volvo.

Mmm, yes, go on, Volvo, what else you got? Weird me out.

Here's Miyoung with a Racing Girl who was taking a kind of half break sitting on this LandRover. I'm not sure if she was relieved or insulted that I didn't want her to seductively loll her tongue and arch her back, but she looks to be just about as chilling as a girl could be in an RG costume.

Land Rovers may appear rugged on the drawing board, but in real life they just look cheap.

Bentley forewent the RGs entirely, allowing the cars to classily speak for themselves from behind a velvet rope. Well played.

Sometimes the Racin Boys get in on the action. Check out this suave gent pimping Audis.

The Hyundai Hellion, one of the few actual concept cars at the show. The concept seems to be "aquadynamic".

Aft fins

Fore fins.

The full profile view. looks like a bar of soap, and I particularly like the bucket seats.

Miyoung approves.

Here's Kia's hydrogen-powered chassy. As I understand it, hydrogen fuel cell cars make no sense when compared with plug-in hybrids, so eh, whatever.

Here's Kia's decidedly Ssangyong-y concept car. Concept: "money - class = the future"

Miyoung just caught a look at the rear end of this thing, and she's defiitely in on the joke.

Nothing to look at here, I think Miyoung thought I was being sarcastic when I said I wanted a picture of this car, but actually this drab, hybrid electric workhorse is exactly the kind of car I want.

Finally we made it to the Ssangyong pavillion, which had five (!) Actyons. Really. They are still incredibly ugly.

The front end reminds me of Skar from The Lion King, for some reason.

By the way, Ssangyong's bad taste doesn't stop at cars.

Even the interior is full of blustery hooplah. check out that babo gotten emergency brake. What are they protecting your hand from with that thing? Is there a chance you'll disengage the brake too much and shear off yout fingers?

If there's any good news at this show, it's that Ssangyong has seen my blog and decided to fix the rear end of the Kyron. It used to look like this:

It now looks like this:

First Rhie Won-bok, now this. I'm on a roll.

Miyoung and I realized that since we don't socialize with people who buy Ssangyong cars, this would be her only opportunity to be photographed in one.

Here's the Civic hybrid. Again, since there's nothing explaining what lies under the hood, why make the hood clear? I guess if you don't there's really nothing to see except a Honda Civic with little lights on the side mirrors.

Unlike our RG friend from before, this one did not know how to take a non-seductive photo, with the odd result that she seems to be beckoning me into some weird fantasy of betrayal Or maybe I'm just psychologically incredibly opaque.

Again, what does this tell us about hybrid vehicles? They look kind of like conventional cars inside.

I want one of these.

She wants one of these.

Here's the Jeep Hurricane concept car, a car so special tht it's the only one with a foreign Racing Girl. She appears to be vaguely Australian-themed, however.

Another Hyundai concept car. This one, I just noticed, is remarkable for its cloaca-like tail-pipe. Better watch out or you'll have alligators and large sea birds trying to mate with this thing every time you park.

We went outside for a bite and found that even in their off-time Racing Girls spent most of their time making sultry faces at cameras. These girls are apparently trying to make their ice cream look orgasmically delicious.

Again, my money is on hybrid-electric vehicles. Check out this ultra-futuristic bus.

Miyoung: "We are riding on a bus."
Eunhwa: "Yes."

The last thing we came to was the best, in my opinion, the Bongo section. There were a lt of new applications for the Bongo, and here are some of the coolest.
Dump Truck

Snow Plow

Lunch Wagon. I was realy excited to see that this all-new Bongo lunch wagon received not one but two Racing Girls. Good on you, Kia.

Miyoung refused to believe that this guy standingin front of the Mini Cooper was a model until five women had taken their pictures with him. Note that he is wearing an iPod as part of his Racing Boy costume. Now that's cros-marketing.

And there you have it. A lot of foreign cars that, thanks to the recently completed FTA, may some day be seen in increasing numbers on Korean streets, plus a bunch of domestic Korean cars that will most definitely be pummeling the eyes of every peninsula-dweller for the next several years.


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Steve Paul said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steve Paul said...

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